OHMYGOD THERE WAS MORE TO THIS?!
Me as a mom
Made me laugh more than it should have.
when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’
everyone lost their shit and i got second place
If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something
*steps out onto balcony* where are my fans at
It’s OUTSIDE and I’m INSIDE.
My little secret.
when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
had the opportunity and fucking seized it
Track: The Writing's On the Wall
Artist: OK Go
Album: Upside Out
The french have grown more powerful.
Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.
Notice anything strange about the bread?
I didn’t either. That’s because…
…no cuts were made there in the first place!
The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!
How, you ask? Look to the second photo.
While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.
Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?
The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.
It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?
This illustration explains it all.
While I am… ahem, not the best artist…
(Didn’t I go to art school?)
The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…
The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!
Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.
as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.
if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.
If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.
Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.
Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.
And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.
Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.
It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.
Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”
You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”
Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.
Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.
Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.
In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!
Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.
But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.
Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.
I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.
The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!
The defense has an explanation for this positioning.
The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!
THIS IS WHY I LOVE TUMBLR GOD DAMNIT
Foolishly foolish fools, allow me to enlighten you.
In your own words, the question is not whether there are fake novelty bread knives like that. You should be asking CAN there be fake novelty bread knives like that.
In an age where sculptors can create hyperrealistic human beings that can trick the average viewer, it is but a small feat to create an uneven bread texture mold and then use it to mass produce bread knives.
But let’s look at the actual sample in the photo fools.
Look closely at the top sheath, it’s not just a simple slit for the blade to fit in, there is a half circle of empty space. What for you might ask? To fit the protruding bit of handle that you so claim is part of a separate knife!
If the bread is a real as you say, then why go through the trouble of cutting a perfect half circle just to fit the ruse?
Still not convinced you foolish fools that ever fooled? Look at the texture on the inside of the bread. The holes are suspiciously spaced apart and way too solid to be real bread. In fact it looks much more like plastic that has a few holes molded in to give it the barest resemblance of bread, as if it tried to replicate the fluffy insides of real bread the plastic would be much more fragile and not hold.
Look at the cut of bread though, actually look. I know you’re but uninformed americans but french bread is HARD and CRUNCHY on the outside. You think you can just slice it perfectly like that without losing some chunks of the edge? Ingrates. Unless you’re in possession of some laser cutting bread machine you’re unlikely to get such a clean edge.
I think I’ve spelled it out for you foolishly foolish fools but here’s the icing on the cake:
I rest my case.
Track: Your Song
Artist: Ellie Goulding
Album: Your Song
Track: I Hate Love
Artist: Claude Kelly
A graduate student has created the first man-made biological leaf. It absorbs water and carbon dioxide to produce oxygen just like a plant. He did this by suspending chloroplasts in a mixture made out of silk protein. He believed it can be used for many things but the most striking one is the thought that it could be used for long distance space travel. Plants do not grow in space, but this synthetic material can be used to produce oxygen in a hostile environment. (Video)